The bride is dancing down the aisle in her pristine gown while her husband-to-be in his military uniform swings along with his ginger-haired brother as best man. The groom's stepmother winks from under her spiky hat -- and even granny, in her tailored green coat, gives a fillip to her stately walk and regal stance.As if!
Yet the spoof royal wedding playing on YouTube as an ad for T-Mobile says something profound about the much-heralded marriage this week of Prince William of Wales to the "commoner" Catherine Middleton, known as Kate.
For by Friday morning at 10 a.m., the real royal wedding will have taken over in cyberspace. Live-streamed on YouTube and the official royal Web site, Ms. Middleton will reveal to an estimated 2.5 billion global viewers the secret she is determined to keep: her wedding dress.
As she steps out of the royal Rolls Royce -- the same one that was beaten up this spring by rioting students with her future father-in-law Prince Charles and his wife, Camilla, inside -- she and her elongated train will start their journey past 1,900 guests down the aisle of Westminster Abbey.
Not a wriggle from the four small bridesmaids -- all chosen from William's side of the family -- nor any tear shed by the bride's mother, Carole Middleton, will escape the video camera's eye, as the first royal wedding in British history is brought into the millennial, digital age.
The centuries-long move from the "divine right of kings" to a royalty of pomp without power has now come into the full glare of the world's gaze.
Already, with everything except the famous dress given full disclosure, the world's audience can see almost every aspect of the preparations on two separate Web sites: www.royal.gov.uk and www.officialroyalwedding2011.org.
Once the wedding gets going the digital pomp will be available as mobile apps. Even the soundtrack of the ceremony will be released on iTunes within hours of the ceremony.
Historians will surely look at this multimedia, multichannel interactive social media event as the meeting point of private and public. And, if all goes according to the minute planning, it will be an example as shining as the bride's glossy mane of how to make the ritual and tradition of monarchy relevant to the modern age.
For Ms. Middleton, 29, and her husband, 28, will be symbols of a monarchy refreshed. As ever in the royal dynasty, the marriage of the heir to the throne -- however distant the takeover -- is required to bring new blood and respond to a new generation.
Queen Elizabeth turned 85 last week, and next year she will celebrate her diamond jubilee of 60 years on the throne. Her son and heir, Prince Charles, 62, hit a more baleful date this month: as the longest-ever king in waiting. And the late Diana, his former wife and self-styled "queen of hearts," still casts a long shadow over the royal family.
Faced with the challenge of being a new "People's Princess," Ms. Middleton has scarcely put a low-heeled court-shoed foot wrong -- especially when it comes to the language of clothes.
Last week, as she and her family received a coat of arms, the future bride was out on a shopping spree that was the antithesis of a royal bridal trousseau or of the big-brand splurges of England's fashion-addicted footballers' wives.
Popping into the middle market Warehouse shop on King's Road, Chelsea, the future queen spent just £225, or $370, on four summer outfits -- three of her favorite floral dresses and a lace blouse.
Perhaps this deliberate lack of luxury is part of the reverse snobbery of England's upper crust -- like the aristocratic Prime Minister David Cameron saying that he would wear a business suit rather than a morning-dress tailcoat, until the outcry forced him to change his mind.
Such thrift will certainly endear Princess Catherine to Queen Elizabeth. But will Her Majesty be happy if the bride chooses not to wear a tiara on her wedding day? Ms. Middleton could always cite Queen Victoria, who wore a circlet of orange blossom in her hair on her Big Day.
Internet bloggers and Twitterers will always be passing judgment on Ms. Middleton's appearance. But so far, the sartorial attitude of both the bride and the groom -- think of William's cashmere sweater for the recent Mario Testino pictures -- has been resolutely contemporary.
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